The “Iceberg Effect”—A call for parents and church leaders to be proactive in disrupting a pattern of pornography addiction

Research points to the pattern of most pornography and sexual addiction first manifesting during adolescence and young adulthood. A recent UCLA study found that 84% of adults in treatment for sexual addiction issues first experienced their problems during their adolescent and young adulthood years.   However, most individuals don’t seek treatment until later in life.  Additionally, a majority of adolescents in treatment for sexual behavior issues only sought help when the behavior resulted in legal problems such as an arrest for committing a sexual offense.  In the LDS community, often times, it is not until a young man is close to the age of serving a mission before he actively seeks help for a pornography addiction. Recent studies suggest that 93 % of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to internet pornography before the age of 18.  70% of boys have spent at least 30 consecutive minutes looking at on-line porn on at least one occasion.  35% of boys have done this on at least ten occasions.  83% of boys have seen group sex on the internet.  67% of children admit to clearing their internet history to hide their online activity.  These findings suggest that many young people experience problems with pornography and other sexual issues, but don’t get help unless they get in trouble and wait until later in life when the problems become unmanageable.

As parents, church leaders and professionals, we need to do a better job of identifying youth who could benefit from treatment.  Too often we minimize potential problems rather than seeing the warning signals.  Only a small portion of an iceberg is visible above the surface, while the majority of the ice remains under the surface, unseen, creating the misperception that the iceberg is not very large.  This is similar to many young people’s struggles with sexual behaviors. Parents and church leaders can erroneously conclude that their child’s pattern of viewing pornography is not significant enough to seek professional help, and thus the child continues to develop an addiction to pornography by becoming more sophisticated in concealing his actions.  While it is not unusual for a teen to be curious about pornography, parents need to be cautious to not minimize the behavior when they begin to observe a pattern of viewing pornography.  It is also not unusual for teens to lie and go to great lengths to “cover their tracks” in an effort to keep their developing addiction hidden from others.  Often times, youth only provide information on what they suspect others already know and continue to conceal a large part of their behavior out of fear, shame and fear of the consequences.  Listed are behaviors that can suggest a possible problem with pornography:

—  Living a double or secret life related to pornography use.

—  Tendency to isolate self and stay up late at night on the internet.

—  Hiding or attempting to keep secret the viewing of pornography.

—  An inability to stop viewing pornography despite previous attempts to do so.

—  Denial and anger when asked to stop by parents and adults.

—  Continuing to view pornography despite the known consequences of continued   viewing.

—  Depression, irritability, anger.

—  Hypersexual attitude, vocabulary and behavior.

—  Overprotective of their technology (cell phone, I-pod, lap top, etc.)

Help for LDS teens struggling with pornography addiction is available.  Parents and bishops who have concerns or even suspicions can seek an evaluation with a Mending The Armor therapist to determine if their child would benefit from participation in the Mending The Armor program.

Pornography Addiction Treatment for Teens and Young Adults Now Available in Salt Lake and Utah Counties

​Aspen Counseling Services based in Lehi, Utah with offices at Thanksgiving Point has joined the Mending The Armor network and will be providing the Mending the Armor and Star Guides programs in the Southern Salt Lake County and Northern Utah County areas.  Communities served by Aspen Counseling Services include Cottonwood Heights, Murray, South Jordan, Draper, Sandy, Riverton, Herriman, Lehi, American Fork, Highland, Eagle Mountain, Saratoga Springs, Pleasant Grove, Lindon, Orem and Provo.

Aspen Counseling Services features a staff of talented therapists who specialize in working with youth and young adults.  Led by clinical director Kristina Holley, LCSW, staff therapists include: Brian Cherry,LPC, Tim McOmber, APC, Nancy Belliston, LCSW, Joseph Allred, APC, Matthew Rutherford, LPC, and Candice Packer, LCSW.

Youth and young adults in Salt Lake and Utah counties struggling with pornography addiction can now access help and treatment with Aspen Counseling Services.  The office is located at 2940 West Maple Loop Drive Suite L01 Lehi, UT 84046.  The phone number is 801-449-0017.   The website is www.aspencounselingservices.com .

Workbook for LDS Young Adults now available!

Mending The Armor has released a new version of the Breaking Free workbook that has been tailored to LDS young adults.  This workbook is now available at all Mending The Armor office locations.  This workbook is the text used in the Mending The Armor for Young Adults program.

This workbook is ideal for pre and post mission young men who are striving to conquer pornography addiction and other sexual behaviors.  The workbook covers the same concepts that are found in the original Breaking Free workbook for youth, but has a stronger focus on Twelve Step principles and also highlights the devastating impact of pornography addiction on marital relationships.  The underpinnings of the treatment highlight the necessity that young adults move into the Intimacy vs. Isolation stage of social development free from pornography and sexual addiction.  The workbook also strongly encourages that young adults complete this program and then transition into the LDS Twelve Step program for longer-term support.

Teen Pornography Addiction Treatment now available in Logan, Utah

Mending The Armor is pleased to announce that the program is now available in Logan, Utah and the surrounding areas including: Richmond, Smithfield, Hyde Park, North Logan, Mendon, Providence, River Heights, Millville, Nibley, Hyrum, Wellsville, Paradise, Garden City Austin Wood, LMFT has joined the network and is providing this service in his office in Logan.  Austin received his master’s degree from the Marriage and Family Therapy program at Utah State University in 2002.  He also has a B.S. in Family and Human Development with a minor in Family Finance.  Austin has worked in a variety of helping services including providing individual therapy and marriage counseling along with group therapy at LDS Family Services.   He and his wife worked as Shelter Managers for CAPSA gaining insight into domestic violence issues.  He has been a therapist and program manager for a residential treatment facility providing therapy for troubled adolescents and their families. His presentations on pornography and its impact on relationships, along with counseling individuals who struggle with sex addiction, has allowed Austin valuable experience in helping individuals overcome this destructive habit.  Austin has a non-judgemental approach and a listening ear.  These attributes, combined with his 10+ years experience, qualify Austin to work with you as your Marriage and Family Therapist.

een Pornography Addiction Treatment now available in San Diego, California and Seattle, Washington.

Mending The Armor is now available in San Diego, California and Seattle, Washington!  We are excited to announce the addition of two new locations to the network and two highly skilled clinicians.

Cindi Christiansen , LMFT has joined the network and is a provider in San Diego.  Cindi has worked in the mental health arena for the last 16 years, with the last 8 years being involved with crisis intervention in the dually diagnosed community.  She has worked extensively with substance abuse, addictions (specifically pornography and sex addictions) and mood disorders.  She also has worked in the areas of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and personality disorders.   Her private practice is currently taking appointments for Thursday, Friday and Saturdays, and has evening appointments available.   She has worked extensively with adolescents and children.  Her practice accepts most major insurances, credit cards and she works on a sliding scale with my cash clients.  In addition to being licensed as a Marriage Family Therapist, she is also a fifth year doctoral student in Clinical Psychology.  She comes to the profession with a wealth of life experience, having successfully raised four children nearly all on her own as a working single mother.

Dave Perry, LMHC has joined the network as a provider in the greater Seattle area.  Dave earned a Bachelor Degree from BYU and a Master Degree in Counseling Psychology from City College of Seattle.  Prior to becoming a therapist, Dave was a successful businessman.  Dave has expertise in sexual addiction, depression, anxiety and marital counseling.  He is married to his high school sweetheart and together they have five children and nine grandchildren.

These programs are available to youth and families in the following areas:

Utah:

 St. George, Hurricane, Santa Clara, Ivins, LaVerkin, Toquerville, Virgin, New Harmony h, Springdale, Washington Utah, Hildale, Leeds, Mesquite Nevada, Colorado City Arizona, Beaver, Minersville, Milford , Garfield County

California:

Valencia, Newhall, Santa Clarita, Castaic, Northridge, San Fernando, Mission Hills, Granada Hills California, Thousand Oaks, Simi Valley, Westlake Village, Case Conejo, Oak Park, Agoura Hills, Camarillo, Calabasas, Malibu, Oxnard, Ventura, Moorpark, Chatsworth, Santa Monica, Chula Vista, El Cajon, La Jolla, Lemon Grove, Paradise Hills, National City, Santee, Spring Valley, Sierra Mesa, Del Cerro, San Carlos, Scripps Ranch, Mira Mesa, Torrey Pines,  Encanto, North Park, Poway, San Diego

Washington:

Seattle, Bellevue, Redmond, Renton,  Federal Way, Tacoma, Lakewood, Lacey, Olympia, Everett, Lynnwood, Kent, Woodinville, Shoreline, Shorewood, Puyallup, South Hill, Kirkland, Ballard, Issaquah, Northbend, Snoqualmie, Sammamish.

 

The pillars of a successful recovery for teen pornography addiction

A strong recovery plan is vital for teens striving to conquer pornography addiction. Because of the support and accountability provided by the treatment, many youth are able to keep their addiction in check during the time they are in treatment. The difficulty lies in the months and years following completion of treatment. One of the most important parts of the treatment process is the creation of a viable recovery plan.

Youth in the program are asked to consider the example of a building being able to endure and withstand the elements over time needs to be built with a strong support system. Many buildings are designed with pillars that bear the weight of the main structure of the building. These pillars have to be strong and firm. If one or more of the pillars is flawed or weak, then the building will not stand, but will eventually crumble. The four pillars that make up a successful recovery plan for teen pornography addiction are: Support, Success, Accountability and Insight. Youth are taught that in order remain abstinent from sexual addictions in the future, they need to develop these four pillars in their lives.

Significant time in the treatment process is spent assisting teens in building each of these four pillars. Youth in the program successfully complete treatment only when they have been able to put together a recovery plan that includes each of the four pillars.  Youth then complete their treatment with a formal, structured plan for their recovery which can guide them well beyond their time in the program.

Treating Pornography Addiction among Teens–Preventing a lifetime of future problems

In the field of substance abuse treatment, marijuana is often referred to as the “gateway” drug as many who become addicted to harder drugs first started with using marijuana as teens and then progressed into more illicit substances.

In the same way, pornography is the “gateway” to a multitude of relationship and sexual behavior problems that can destroy the promise of bright futures for youth.  Men who are addicted to pornography are not able to effectively function as husbands and fathers.  Without healthy husbands and fathers, our society will not thrive.  Our future hinges on young men who can become healthy, functioning husbands and fathers.  We need youth who can become men of integrity.

Helping young people learn to manage and overcome addiction to pornography is among the most important work in the field of youth treatment today.  In this work, we are helping to form youth who can become quality husbands and fathers who are free from sexual addiction.

Too many youth become addicted to pornography and carry this problem into adulthood where is prevents the formation of healthy relationships and often leads to infidelity, divorce, emotional problems and legal issues.  The key is to preventing this all too often occurrence is to catch it early.

We are looking for therapists who want to make a difference.  See the video on the benefits of becoming a provider!

Join Our Network-Become A Provider!

Intervening Early—Helping Teens to Combat Pornography Addiction

The earlier in life a teen decides to deal with this addiction, the less harm it will cause in their future.   many adults addicted to pornography say they wished they had dealt with the problem when they were still young because it would have saved them having to experience the pain and tragedy of what many adults addicted to pornography have to endure.  Additionally, the longer an addiction remains in place, the more difficult that addiction can be to break.  Breaking the addiction while still young is much easier than allowing the addiction to persist for many years.

A pornography addiction can be compared to having a heavy ball and chain attached to your leg.   These devices were historically used to physically restrain prisoners because they took away their freedom and made it difficult to escape from captivity.  A pornography addiction functions in the same way as it takes away your freedom and unless you can break the chains, leaves you in captivity to the images and the strong sexual feelings they trigger.

Research reveals that teens and young adults who consume online pornography are more likely to…

• Begin sexual activity earlier than peers
• Develop appetite for more graphic and deviant types of pornography
• Incur persistent emotional problems such as depression, shame and remorse
• Believe that the most gratifying sexual satisfaction is attainable without love or true affection
• Believe that being married or having a family are undesirable
• Develop sexual compulsions and addictive behaviors
• Believe that deviant sexual practices such as group sex and sadomasochism are common and normal.

The Breaking Free Workbook: Helping Youth Overcome Pornography Addiction

Since its publication in January 2011, the Breaking Free workbook has been instrumental in assisting hundreds of youth around the country overcome pornography addiction.  The workbook provides a systematic approach for youth to follow as they strive to break free from a habit to which they have been enslaved, sometimes for many years.  Together with participation in individual and group therapy, many youth have experienced great success in breaking free from pornography addiction.

The workbook is published by the Youth Pornography Addiction Center www.ypacenter.com and is the text that is used by therapists who run Mending The Armor and Star Guides outpatient programs.

The Breaking Free workbook is a twelve chapter text that leads youth to a greater understanding of pornography addiction including the brain science, the identification of underlying issues leading to the formation of an addiction and most importantly provides youth with specific strategies and guidance in learning to manage and overcome the addiction.

The last chapter of the workbook assists the young person in the creation of a long-term recovery plan that the youth can use in their efforts to abstain from relapse after they have completed treatment.

Youth Pornography Addiction Screening Tool

The Youth Pornography Addiction Screening Tool (YPAST) is an initial screening assessment tool for adolescents ages 12 to 18 with potential addiction to pornography.  It is being developed with adolescent clients in outpatient settings around the United States.  The YPAST provides a profile of responses that help to identify adolescents who are addicted to pornography.   Click Here to access the YPAST.  ​