My son’s main issue is masturbation and not necessarily pornography. He has looked at pornography on occasion, but it doesn’t seem to be something he does often. I do know he wants to stop masturbating, but has been unable to stop on his own Is the Mending The Armor Program something that would help him with this problem?The answer is yes. The Mending The Armor Program can help teens and young adults who have unwanted habit of masturbation. Many of our clients have been young men desirous to serve missions, but needing to eliminate their masturbatory habits.We have been able to help youth who are struggling with a variety of compulsive sexual behaviors including masturbation, fetishes, voyeurism, paraphillic infantilism, sexting, and cybersexual acting out. While the main focus of the program is pornography addiction, Mending The Armor is a recommended treatment approach for youth and young adults struggling with pornography and also a variety of sexually compulsive behaviors. The program does not provide treatment for illegal sexual acting, but can refer to therapists who provide sexual offenses treatment.
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Mending The Armor News: Providing the latest news, information and research in the area of pornography addiction treatment for teens and young adults.
Missionaries, Mending The Armor and LDS Addiction Recovery
Many of the clients who have participated in the Mending The Armorprogram have been young men preparing for missions or returned missionaries who have slipped back into the addiction. As therapists working with LDS young men, we recognize the problem is real and that unfortunately, even returned missionaries sometimes need treatment for pornography addiction.
Dr. Don Hilton stated in his book He Restoreth My Soul wrote: “The current scenario of sending the young man on a mission after three to six months of “white knuckle’ sobriety is only setting him up for intermittent struggling throughout his mission, and/or quick relapse upon return and re-introduction into the overwhelming media barrage he will sure face”.
Speaking of returned missionaries he wrote: “Understand that the majority of young men returning from missions are slipping quickly into addiction, and we must be ready to support them with 12 Step support groups specific to pornography addiction immediately upon return from their mission. We should be as determined to support them as the adversary is to capture them as they emerge from a spiritual high and enter the world again. If we can change the current pattern of quick relapse after mission, we can begin to see dating and marriage patterns return to normalcy”.
Treatment specific to pornography addiction among LDS young men is greatly needed. Mending The Armor is designed to meet this need.
Using the YPAST (Youth Pornography Addiction Screening Tool) our outcome studies have shown that participants who have completed this program, participated in LDS addiction recovery meetings and worked closely with their bishops have experienced high rates of success in abstaining and managing pornography addiction and other unwanted sexual behaviors. The average pre-treatment YPAST score is a 57. The post-treatment YPAST score is a 19. These findings suggest significant improvement in reducing and eliminating pornography use among our clients.
It is important to note that the Mending The Armor program is not intended to replace the LDS Addiction Recovery Program, but rather to prepare youth and young adults to more fully benefit from recovery meetings. Participants are encouraged to participate in LDS twelve-step Recovery meetings in conjunction with the Mending The Armor program. Clients are prepared to transition from our treatment services into their local LDS Addiction Recovery Programs for long-term support and recovery.
The “Slippery Slope”—Helping LDS Youth in Treatment Avoid Relapse into Porn
Compulsive Use of pornography with or without masturbation often leads to pushing boundaries and morality violations including sexting, misuse of social networks and improper on-line conduct.
In young adulthood the continued use of compulsive pornography can eventually lead to anonymous sex (met online, in sex clubs etc.), frequenting adult bookstores and strip clubs, prostitutes and massage parlors, multiple affairs, GPS smartphone hook-ups and a multitude of other dangerous sexual behaviors.
For those struggling with pornography addiction, the concept of the “slippery slope” is a familiar one. Some refer to it as “the bubble” or “the trance”. These terms refer to the mindset and physical symptoms that accompany the fixation and drive for a sexual experience. In this trance like state fixated on sexual arousal, the physical symptoms include Increased heart rate, dilated pupils, shallow breathing, sweating, a “rush” or “euphoric” feeling and the most destructive a Reduced Capacity for Intellectual Functioning.
Once a young person finds themselves in this condition it becomes very difficult to not act out sexually in one form or another. Teens and young adults involved in treatment for pornography addiction learn to recognize when they are entering the “slippery slope” or “the bubble”. As part of their recovery plan, they formulate a strategy for avoiding this state by reaching out to others. Often, those they connect with are members of their treatment groups who are at a more advanced stage of recovery from pornography addiction.
When a young person recognizes the signs of the “slippery slope” they train themselves to immediately text or call a support person. This act of reaching out to others disrupts the pattern and allows the young person to share thoughts and feelings with another person rather than remaining on the slippery slope and dealing with emotional discomfort through acting out sexually.
Group therapy for teens and young adults is an important part of the treatment process because it creates a support system. It allows young people to support and strengthen one another in their efforts to overcome the addiction.
Teen sexual behavior problems: Four steps for LDS Families.
With the ever increasing amount of sexual content on the internet and in the media, many LDS families are faced with the difficult and uncomfortable task of having to address sexual behavior problems in their children including pornography addiction. Many parents are uncertain about how to handle these situations and where to turn for help.
Among the behavior problems include:
-Repeated viewing of pornography
-Compulsive masturbation
-Sexual experimentation
-Sexting
-Cybersex
-Inappropriate internet sexual behaviors
-Fetishes
-Voyeurism
-Sexual boundary issues within the family or with other youth
-Hypersexual behavior
Most parents know the basics for protecting their children from predatory adults on the Internet, but few understand what to do if a child or teenager repeatedly seeks out pornography, phone sex, or risky physical encounters. How can parents differentiate between typical sexual curiosity and a serious problem that requires professional help? Listed below are four steps parents can follow for helping a teen struggling with sexual behavior problems.
1. Monitor your teen’s behavior.
Parents need to be aware of what their children are viewing on the internet and in the media. Using internet accountability programs such as Covenant Eyes are strongly recommended. Parents need to be aware of who their children are spending time with and what types of activities in which their children participate. Parents will also want to re-evaluate the types and amounts of media they have allowed in the home.
2. Talk to your teen.
Parents need to be responsible for assuring their children have received a comprehensive sex education. Parents can’t leave this to schools, the church or the media. Parents can’t allow their children’s knowledge of sexuality to be largely provided by what they see and hear in the media. In some cases, parents and teens will already have experienced serious communication breakdown. How parents approach their teens regarding concerns about sexual behavior issues will likely determine whether unhealthy patterns of communications will continue to disrupt and frustrate the relationship or whether a new foundation of openness, trust, and safety can be built and sustained throughout the struggle. It is true that everyone may feel awkward or uncomfortable. Regardless of the discomfort, however, when there is evidence of illicit sexual behavior and possible addiction, parents have to take the lead and the communication needs to occur.
3. Get your teen help.
Professional intervention is often needed for managing sexual behavior issues in teens. Some parents make the mistake of denying or minimizing the seriousness of the problems. While some youth are able to break the habit through working with their bishop and the repentance process, other youth require more intensive attention than what the bishop can offer. It is far wiser to seek a professional evaluation, than to take the risk of brushing off the emergence of sexual problem that can have long-lasting consequences. Waiting until a youth is serving a mission to discover that the problems are still present is devastating to the entire family. It is better to be proactive in making sure that youth have the skills to manage addictive behaviors. Most pornography and sexual addiction first manifests during adolescence and prevention is the best method of intervention. The Youth Pornography Addiction Screening (YPAST) is a free tool that can be used to assess for a possible pornography addiction in teens.
4. Become educated.
Pornography and sexual addiction is a phenomenon that is not understood by much of the population. Parents need to understand that addiction to pornography can have some of the same characteristics as a drug addiction. Parents need to realize that their teen is likely suffering from extreme shame and embarrassment. Parents need to learn about the science behind pornography addiction and then become a source of support for assisting their teen in the creation of a recovery plan that allows them to work to achieve healthy sexuality in their life.
Three reasons why today’s youth are vulnerable to developing addiction to pornography
Mental health professionals are seeing a pattern of more and more teens and young adults seeking treatment for problems related to pornography addiction and its accompanying behaviors. This pattern leads to the need for further analysis as to why this is occurring and what the long-term ramifications of this may be. Studies already suggest that most adults struggling with sexual addiction first developed the addiction during adolescence. Does this pattern predict an epidemic of future sexual addiction?
The Youth Pornography Addiction Center was founded in 2010 and has been studying this trend and providing treatment to teens and young adults in this area since that time. Based on its experience, listed below are three reasons why this trend is occurring:
- Access—Pornography has always been available, but until the age of the internet, had to be accessed in magazines, video tapes and often required entry into adult books stores and was difficult for teens to obtain. Never before has sexually explicit material been so readily available and easily accessed. A majority of teens and young adults have laptops, smart phones, I-pads and are constantly connected to the internet. In a matter of seconds and virtually anywhere, pornography can viewed. Internet porn is the medium by which most youth view pornography and most of it free of charge and without accountability for age of the viewer.
- Potency of today’s Porn—There is a drastic difference between today’s online porn and the porn of just a few decades ago. Now, youth can go to countless websites and find more free porn than they could ever find the time to watch….all in high definition video. They can even pick their favorite template, hair color, sexual activity, and just watch video after video of it. It’s all free, easy to access, available within seconds, 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week, and can be viewed on phones at any age. Addicted teens find themselves driven to view more and more pornography and becoming more and more secretive and deceitful in their efforts to do so. It is true that erotic photos and videos have been around a long time, but the dopamine arousal from turning the pages of a Playboy magazine can’t hold a candle to the steady stream of ever changing erotic stimulation that is so easily obtained from searching for and viewing online porn. This is why online erotica can create such powerful addictions in teens. Today’s porn doesn’t satisfy teens’ needs; it distorts them. Teens are particularly vulnerable as the strength of the dopamine high is likely the strongest, most euphoric sensation they have ever experienced in their young lives. Skeptics need to understand this “high” rivals anything that could be achieved with drugs. - Diminished authentic relationships—The rising generation has been using technology on a daily basis for their entire lives and it is interfering with their ability to connect with others in a face to face and intimate manner. Many teens text far more than they talk. Some send more than 1000 texts a day. Many teens spend hours and hours playing video games and interacting with “virtual friends” on Facebook while sitting at home alone and isolated from “real friends”. Intimacy and connectedness can not occur in virtually or in cyberspace. The National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health, which surveyed more than 12,000 high school students throughout the country, has noted that feelings of “connectedness” (feeling close to people at school, fairly treated by teachers, and loved and wanted at home) helped significantly to lower an individual’s likelihood of emotional distress, early sexual activity, substance abuse, violence, and suicide. Another recent study found in the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine has suggested that the more screen (computer, video game, cell phone) exposure teenagers get, the more detached they are from those round them. There appears to be a relationship between adolescent screen time and the diminished social involvement with parents and peers. Sexual addiction experts suggest that among the core issues driving the addiction is the lack of intimacy and fear of connectedness.
Mending The Armor is an outpatient treatment program that has been specifically designed to provide youth and young adults with a formal approach for learning to manage and overcome an addiction to pornography and other unwanted sexual behaviors. This program is currently being offered in twelve locations in the United States and Canada. See the Locations page on the website to find an office near you. If you are therapist interested in providing this service in your office, see the Become A Provider page for information on how to join the Mending The Armor network.
Internet Accountability—A key component of recovery for teens striving to conquer pornography addiction
In addition to participation in treatment aspects of the program, Mending The Armor strongly encourages all youth and young adults participating in the program to utilize a form of internet accountability as they work toward recovery. Most young people in early stages of recovery from pornography addiction require external accountability. Internet accountability is a key component of assisting teens and young adults in achieving a successful recovery.
Mending The Armor has researched a wide range of internet accountability tools to recommend to our clients and their parents. Covenant Eyes is our choice for this service. This product includes both internet filtering and accountability allowing parents to control the content of what their youth view on line as well as providing a daily report of all their on-line activity.
Covenant Eyes provides the highest quality service for internet filtering and accountability reporting available. This service can be used on home computers, laptop computers, smart phones, tablets, etc.
For only $10.49 monthly, our clients receive internet filtering services along with a daily accountability report of all internet activity. This report is provided to parents and the therapist. Use our promo code– breakingfree to purchase this service.
Pornography Addiction Treatment for Teens and Young Adults Now Available in Salt Lake and Utah Counties
Aspen Counseling Services based in Lehi, Utah with offices at Thanksgiving Point has joined the Mending The Armor network and will be providing the Mending the Armor and Star Guides programs in the Southern Salt Lake County and Northern Utah County areas. Communities served by Aspen Counseling Services include Cottonwood Heights, Murray, South Jordan, Draper, Sandy, Riverton, Herriman, Lehi, American Fork, Highland, Eagle Mountain, Saratoga Springs, Pleasant Grove, Lindon, Orem and Provo.
Aspen Counseling Services features a staff of talented therapists who specialize in working with youth and young adults. Led by clinical director Kristina Holley, LCSW, staff therapists include: Brian Cherry,LPC, Tim McOmber, APC, Nancy Belliston, LCSW, Joseph Allred, APC, Matthew Rutherford, LPC, and Candice Packer, LCSW.
Youth and young adults in Salt Lake and Utah counties struggling with pornography addiction can now access help and treatment with Aspen Counseling Services. The office is located at 2940 West Maple Loop Drive Suite L01 Lehi, UT 84046. The phone number is 801-449-0017. The website is www.aspencounselingservices.com .
Pornography use among teens…..a developmental issue, not simply a moral issue.
For many years, religious organizations were at the forefront of championing the cause of vilifying pornography and suggesting that its influence was immoral and destructive. This has led to the erroneous belief among many, that pornography use is a “moral” or a “religious issue’. While it is clear that pornography can be highly destructive to one’s spirituality and morality, increasing evidence suggests that pornography can be disruptive to child and teen development in a variety of areas.
The paradigm regarding pornography use, particularly its impact on children and teens, needs to shift toward the problem not simply being a moral issue, but rather a developmental issue with potential long-lasting negative consequences.
The following are noted characteristics that have been found in teens who have developed a habit of regularly viewing pornography:
• Viewing and/or masturbating to internet pornography on a daily basis.
Staying up late at night to be alone to view pornography and then having trouble waking up for school.
• Loss of interest in school and extracurricular activities.
• Diminished interest in socialization and outside activity with peers including dating.
• Secrecy with behavior, particularly with technology, and increased isolation including long periods of time alone in their bedroom with the door locked.
• Pattern of lying to parents and other adults about on-line activities including deleting browser history, viruses on computers, etc.
• A diminished empathy toward others and lack of interest in family activities.
• Development of hypersexual attitude, language and possible sexually inappropriate interests.
Each of these characteristics along with a host of other unmentioned characteristics impede the developmental process of youth who become addicted to pornography. Those youth who become addicted to pornography are typically unable to break free from the addiction on their own. In many cases, the addiction is kept secret and continues into adulthood and eventually becomes a contributor to depression, marital problems and legal problems.
The good news is that youth who become addicted and get help, are able to break free from the addiction.
Viewing the problem as a developmental issue, rather than simply a moral issue is an important first step. Educating parents and professionals about the importance of screening for possible addiction comes next. Then, developing and implementing treatment options specific to children and teens who have become addicted becomes the focus.